Take Her in Your Arms
by Lyra Lupin
Summary: Things have been strained between the two friends since Sirius Black's death and Tonks just made a bad situation worse. However, after she discovers Remus's secret sketch book, Nymphadora begins to see their relationship from a new perspective.
1. Sometimes you're just bad

Setting: The summer, post OOp

**Take Her in Your Arms**

_Chapter 1_

_Sometimes you're just bad..._

It was nearly 2am when Nymphadora Tonks arrived home to Grimmald Place. Quietly shutting the door behind her, she slipped out of her fuchsia pumps, which had rubbed blisters on her heels; unmorphed her violet hair, now a sweaty brown mess and tugged off her purple sequin tank top that now reeked of smoke and alcohol. Now standing in the entry way in only her black leather mini and lace bra, she sighed with relief.

"Where have you been?" Asked a stern voice from the doorway, a blue flame lighting a still young face of a tired man.

"Remus!" Tonks jumped and covered her chest with her discarded shirt. "Merlin's ghost! What are you doing up?"

"Waiting up for you," He answered coldly as he reached into his pocket and clicked open a gold pocket watch. "Do you know what time it is?"

"Late," Tonks answered stiffly, bending to pick up her pumps.

"It's 2am."

"Well, glad to know it." Tonks replied flippantly and headed towards the staircase. "I'm going to bed."

Remus crossed his arms, his pale eyes glaring.

She wasn't a child to be reprimanded and secondly, he couldn't just glare at her in her own home. It was the third time he'd acted this way this month. Turning on her heel, her voice shook with angry, "Look Remus you're not my father, and your bloody well not my husband. If I want to go out clubbing with my girlfriends, then I damn well will!"

Remus's hand clinched the railing, knuckles white, "Nymphadora, there's a war going on out there. You can't just walk off into the night without letting someone know where you are."

"Damn it Remus. Don't you think I know that! Don't you think that sometimes I just want to get away from it all; from this house, from this war, from you..."

The last arrow shot right to the heart and Nymphadora felt no remorse. In fact, she felt spurred on by the intensity of shot and took another aim. Lips tight, pale eyes ice cold; he stood completely still as Tonks descended the stairs and pointed her index finger directly in the middle of his chest.

"I don't need a knight on a white horse or an _old_ werewolf to save me. I am Ministry auror, I can take care of myself."

Then, flipping her hair over her shoulder, she continued up the stairs. No one would control Nymphadora Tonks, expect for Nympahdora Tonks. "I will do as I please. If you don't like it," she turned and cocked her head to the side, and offered a spiteful grin, "then you may leave."

From the bottom of the staircase, Lupin quietly replied, "This isn't what Sirius would have wanted."

"Don't Remus!" She screamed. Her eyes held back tears of pain and anger. "Don't you even say his name."

Then with she disappeared beyond into the darkness of the hallway as Mrs. Black's portrait flung its curtains opened and added its own insults.

_You filthy mudblood werewolf... Tarnish the halls of my house with you cursed stain..._

* * *

Tonks peeled off the rest of her clothes and stepped into the steaming hot waters of her nightly bath. She was still a bit drunk and the world spun around her as she melted beneath the bubbles and tried to let the boiling waters wash away the anger, the hurt and the guilt.

Damn! She was mad at Remus tonight. Telling her that she had a curfew! _Still, it's one thing to be angry, another thing to be cruel, _said the voice in her head. Opening her eyes, she sighed. She'd been really awful; saying every malicious thought that popped into her mind. And what if he took her advice and left? She really didn't want to be alone in this house.

Taking a wash cloth, she laid it over her face and breathed in the lavender steam. What had happened to them? When ever she was around Remus these days, she felt on edge and he, too, was somehow changed. She'd been going to clubs more and more as Remus retreated into the study and rarely came out except for meals. Even during those rare moments together, they hardly spoke.

Tears filled her eyes, as the pain of Sirius's death kindled in her heart. She knew without doubt, what the three ton Elephant in their relationship was, the one both of them saw but neither could acknowledge. That horrible night that Severus appeared in the fire grate and had told them about Harry going to the ministry to save Sirius, she had begged her cousin not to go. It was Remus that took her aside and told her to calm down, Sirius loved Harry way to much not to save him, even if that meant risking his own life.

Tonks had been furious that Remus had supported Sirius and not her that night. Had he completely forgotten what had happened just two years ago when Black's soul had nearly been lost to the kiss of a dementor? Then he made a fatal mistake; a false promise.

"_Come on cousin, Mooney and I were doing this while you were still in diapers," Sirius laughed, shrugging on his robe. _

"_Nymphadora," Remus said her name calmly, his hands on her shoulders, eyes piercing her soul, "I promise Sirius will be fine."_

In the cooling bath water, she cried. Sobs racked her body as he remembered his sainted words. It was his fault. He was the only who could have stopped Sirius from going to his death and he'd done nothing but make her a promise that he couldn't keep.

After several minutes, Tonks slowly pulled herself back together and out of the tub. Once into her pajamas and emotionally calmer, she opened her bedroom door and looked over to Lupin's bedroom. She learned against her door frame as she struggled with the idea of walking over and settling this once and for all.

Every time she approached him on the subject of that night, he withdrew more and more to himself. His passivity only seemed to make her angrier; more violent. She wanted to scream, she wanted to hit something until all the pain went away and she wanted to hear him say he was wrong, but so far, he wouldn't do it.

Without knowing it, she had walked to his room, and pushed open the door, "Remus?"

A single candle glowed in the darkness, but there was no one there. In fact, nothing of his was there. She opened up the wardrobe, but it was bare. Tonks had never felt lower than this moment. She'd told him to leave and he had done it. Now she was completely alone; her bitterness and regret, cold company.

Pulling back the covers, she snuggled into his four poster bed. His scent lingered on linens and she hugged a pillow to her stomach, wishing with all her will it was him that she held in her arms. As she drifted to sleep, she dreamed his stubbed chin rested against her chest and she was scattering kisses through his soft brown hair. In shadows, his long, languid body entangled with hers, his thin lips pressed against her breast in warm desire. Then, for the second time that night, she cried, but this time, it wasn't for losing her cousin, it was for losing her best friend and maybe something more.


	2. Curiosity killed the cat or soothed it?

**Take Her in Your Arms**

_Chapter 2_

_Curiosity killed the cat or soothed it?_

Light peered in through the curtains, and with a restless yawn, Tonks was awake. She sat up, bringing the pillow in her arms to her chest and once again burying her face in its salty, masculine scent. As he turned her head to the side, resting her cheek against the soft linen, she saw it; the corner of a thin book peeping out between the mattress and the box spring.

With a two handed tug, what appeared to be a leather bound sketch book revealed itself. Opening the inside cover, her fingers drifted over the gold embossed initials, "R.J.L." Something inside her felt a little guilty. Obviously, he didn't want this book seen or it would not have been hidden between the mattresses.

"On the other hand," Tonks mused aloud and bit in her bottom lip in a moment of ethical contemplation.

She ran her hand over the smooth, worn leather, inhaled the scent of old parchment and charcoal; this book was obviously very special. Her gut told her that opening and reading its pages would be very intimate, almost as precious as opening and touching the man. With that final thought, Tonks threw ethics aside and turned to the first page.

The first sketch was of the four Marauders. _Isn't that what they called themselves as boys? _They were happy and laughing, even the tubby turn- coat, Peter Pettigrew; just seeing his portrait made Tonks nauseous.

The next ten pages were devoted to various school scene poses of James, Sirius and Peter. The part of the book seemed completely devoted to a single girl with long flowing hair and thin stature. For the next seven pages, the girl's smiling eyes and upturned lips showed that artist was more than casually interested in his female subject.

Oddly enough, some of the sketches seemed to be posed. The girl, sometimes only wearing a scant tank top and shorts lying in a field of daisies, another one showed her walking barefoot at the edge a lake, a wreath of flowers in her hair.

Two blank pages. The next showed James and the girl holding hands. "L.E", Tonks whispered the initials above the sketch. This had to be the young, Lily Evans. Tonks gasped. Had _Remus been in love with Lily? _

Quickly, she turned the pages of the book, but there were only more pictures of his friends and anonymous school mates. A few of them girls, but none with Lily's beckoning smile. Suddenly the book jumped ahead and showed three aurors with the inscribed initials, "L.E., J.P., and S.B." A gorgeous solitary drawing of Lily in her wedding gown, one of Sirius laughing, an adult James on a broom, Peter looking over his shoulder, and finally, a very haunting self portrait mirrored opposite three drawings of a wolf. Without thought, her fingers drifted over the sketch entitled, "Wolf in Rage"; an angry beast howled at an unforgiving moon. _Was this Lupin's wolf? _

At this section of the book, a faded ribbon provided a marker and a picture of a young James; "No, that's Harry", Tonks corrected herself. There were numerous drawings of Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Fred and George, even Dumbledore with his twinkling grin and Severus with his trademark sneer.

She had to closely exam the next sketch, a broken old man with long, thick hair wearing an Azkaban prison uniform, "Dear gods! Sirius!" Thirteen years had aged him thirty, but in his eyes, the artist noted his strength of his spirit, the determination of will.

Now the sketch book contained more familiar images. An older, but tidier Sirius; several members of the order; a large dog and a wolf snuggled together before a fireplace; a few more of Sirius and finally, the last person in the book, Tonks recognized without doubt, was herself.

Sixteen pages devoted to, "Nymphadora"; her name written in a fine, concise, cursive script. Each sketch perfectly capturing her facial expressions, physical mannerisms as well as her absolutely ridiculous hair styles. Even she had to laugh at the wit portrayed by the artist's hand. The first few sketches were comical, but with each addition turn of the page, Remus added finer expression. He had drawn her in private moments of contemplation, in intimate moments that they had shared for the briefest of seconds, and the final picture made her jaw drop.

"Oh my god!" It was herself, completely naked.

In the same exact moment that she slammed the book shut in shock, she heard a doorknob rattle. Quickly, she shoved Remus's sketch book beneath the duvet, not even allowing herself time to grab her wand.

Remus stepped inside the room. Hollowed eyes and slack lips showed his weariness. Raising a curious brow, "What are you doing here?"

"You left," Tonks answered breathlessly; the image of her seductively drawn, naked body still burning in her mind.

"Well, this is your home; I suppose you can take which ever bed you want." His voice was tired, there was no bravado in his voice.

Tonks looked away, guiltily remembering their conversation last night; remembering her malicious jabs. Her voice small, barely above a whisper, "You left me."

"I'll remind you, it was at your suggestion." Remus answered quietly, tone frigid, arms crossed. Obviously, he still hurt.

"I didn't mean it," Tonks answered weakly, but it was too little, too late.

Remus entered the room and began to look around, as if he were searching for something, "Then perhaps you should be more careful with your words."

She closed her eyes, and cursed her previous behavior. Then realizing that he was turning over the room, she asked innocently, "Have you forgotten something?"

Remus looked up nonchalantly, "Just a book. I thought I might have left it here." As if it were no more important than a spare hat or a single mitten.

"This book," Tonks asked, as she pulled back the covers and revealed his leather bound notebook.

He did not meet her eyes, "Yes, thank you." He reached towards the bed and instantly, Tonks snatched it to her chest.

"Are these your sketches?"

"Yes," his eyes still not daring to meet hers.

"They're very good."

Lupin swallowed, "Thank you."

"There's quite a few dedicated to me."

"Yes," he said quietly, hand tightening on the bed poster.

"Why?"

He fumbled with the covers, "You're a metamorphangous; a very interesting subject." It was an obvious lie.

"Oh," Tonks replied, not believing him for a minute and flipped open the book, towards _her_ section. Her voice trembled, as she asked, "And what about this one? The one of me naked, lying on your bed?"

Remus shut his eyes and whispered, "Please...don't," pain ready in his voice.

It was in this moment that Nymphadora Tonks felt her entire body shake. _What the hell was happening? What was she so afraid of?_

"Well, I think I have the right to know," she pushed on, trying to stop herself from shaking.

His blue eyes flashed open like cold steel, "My sketch book was never mean for you to see."

"But I've seen it none the less; tell me why you've drawn me like this?" Tonks struggled with tangled emotions.

The momentary anger was gone and Remus flushed with embarrassment, his voice low, eyes hooded, "Because sometimes, I think on you that way."

It was as if her heart stopped beating for a moment, and when she regained her pulse, she was suspended in storm cloud of confusion, anger and desire.

Her brow knotted, as she rose to her knees, softly shutting the book at her side. "Why?" _Okay, that was a dumb question, but she wanted to hear the answer anyway._

Remus looked at her for the first time that morning with his eyes completely unshielded and it broke her heart to see him this vulnerable. He was always so strong and confident for The Order, for his friends and for the children. She felt decisively low for shattering his strength; for being his weakness.

"Because you're beautiful." He paused, his voice trembling, "And sometimes, when I'm lonely, I think on what it would be like to have you in my bed." A long sigh, "I think on what it would be like to...to have you," he stammered, and then finally got out, "to have you make love to me."

Suddenly, it was as if all the pain and anger, the hostility and frustration that had been brewing in her heart burst into shower of hot tears and short sobs.

"I'm so sorry," he leaned against the bed post, completely resigned to humiliation. Eyes shut tight, "I never meant for you to know."

A few short cries and then, "How could you, Remus!" Tonks sobbed, "How could not tell me! How could you just keep letting me walk away every night and not tell me?"

Remus looked at Nymphadora with a look of absolute confusion, "This is why! For Merlin's sake!"

Remus checked his bewilderment and took several steps back from the bed, Tonks still sobbing hard. His voice fast, "I knew you could never want me the way, I wanted you. And I didn't want to upset you or scare you; I'm content with our friendship. "

Tonks flung a pillow which hit him squarely in the chest, yelling, "Damn your contentment! And damn you for making decisions for me! I'm not scared of you or of this!" She lifted up the book in her right hand.

Remus was all the way against the side of the wall, face twisted in confusion and fear.

Tonks wiped her eyes, and looked at him with piercing intent, "Don't you know why I'm in your bed? Because it smells of you; it bloody reeks of you. Gods Remus! It's the only way that I can be close to you any more."

If he was shocked at her confession, he didn't show it. He looked down at the floor, and began quietly, "Nymphadora, I know you're angry at me about that night. You're angry because I supported Sirius's decision to go the ministry. That's why I backed away from you." His blue eyes now rested on her petite form, "You want an apology that I'll never be able to give."

"I know," Tonks rubbed her sore eyes. "But does that mean I'm going to lose you? Because eventually your scent will slip away from the sheets, and then I'll have nothing but dirty laundry and bitter regrets and you'll have nothing more of me than an image on a page."

Sweat glistening on his brow, "You'll always have my friendship."

"I know," Tonks admitted and fumbled with the bed sheet, "but what if I want something more?" She asked timidly, her toes curling around the covers, their eyes meet, "Do you still want something more? I mean when you're lonely?"

There was a long, thoughtful silence. "I'm always lonely," he confessed.

Tonks gently smiled, "I promise, I'm better looking in person than that picture."

Lupin flushed, and shyly replied, "You're blushing."

"I blush every where," Tonks laughed, and indeed her cheeks as well as her chest and arms were touched with color.

"Really?!" Remus chucked, now standing directly next to the bed, arms still crossed. "Well, umm... This is rather awkward. Most of my experiences with woman start with food and end with bed." Then sitting down on the edge of that mattress, "We seem to be doing things a bit backwards here."

Tonks laughed for the second time, "Perhaps, we should start with breakfast. I'm not much of a going backwards girl myself."

"Thank Merlin," Remus mused with relief and a slight smile. Then, with renewed strength and an old confidence that he hadn't known in sometime, Remus reached over, and took Tonks' hand, his pale blue grey eyes twinkling, "Good morning, Nymphadora." Then before she say, 'Don't call me Nympadora'; he kissed her...


	3. Say my name, say my name

**Take Her in Your Arms**

_Chapter 3_

_Say my name, say my name..._

There was something about the way he said her name; slowly, letting each syllable lilt off his tongue and lips. It sounded so sweet and charming in his rich voice, touched slightly by a York brogue. And strangely, she had never noticed, until this past week, how nice it sounded, "Nymph-a-dora". Somehow, when he said Nymphadora, it sounded less like a fairy on crack and more like a name belonging to an ancient queen.

Each moment she spent with Remus, Tonks was discovering something new about the man. Noticing delightful details about his mannerisms, about his nuances; the way he pressed his lips together when in contemplation, the creased laugh lines around his smile, the gray flecks in his soft brown hair, the aroma of chamomile tea on his breath, the way he fumbled with--

"What?" Remus asked abruptly.

Tonks shook herself awake from her daydream. "What, what?"

Remus leaned forward, so that the other people in the cozy café wouldn't hear his words, "You're staring at me again."

Tonks bit her lip, "Am I? It's just," she sighed and smile, "I'm just a bit in shock still. You know, about us."

"Oh," Remus said; his reply uncertain.

"Not in a bad way," Tonks said taking his hand, and leaning close. "I just can't believe that I'm dating Remus Lupin." She whispered like his name like it was an exciting secret. "I mean, I guess you'd call it dating. I mean, is it okay if I say we're dating?"

Remus returned her smile, "Of course and I hope it isn't all that strange being with me. This fascination doesn't have anything to do with-", he stopped suddenly

"Do with what?"

"With our age difference?" He answered a bit timidly.

"Remus!" Tonks scolded, "I could care less about your age. You need to let that go." This hadn't been the first time this week he'd brought up the fact he was thirteen years her senior.

"Alright," he relaxed a bit and then, tension. "And it's not about my," he leaned in and whispered very, very quietly, "my lycanthropy?"

"No!" Tonks answered exasperated. "We've already talked about that."

"Because if it bothers you at all-"

Tonks rolled her eyes, "You'll what, Remus? Stop becoming a werewolf?"

Lupin winced just the slightest at the volume of her words, but no one in the café took notice of their conversation.

"Well, no," he replied calmly.

"It's just for the past week, well, I've been seeing you in a new light. You see, when I use to think on 'Remus Lupin', I thought of you as a prominent member of The Order or my cousin's old school mate or my quiet friend who likes tea and reading big books."

"Wow, I sound so exciting," he replied dryly.

"Then, I started thinking about you in slightly other ways," she grinned.

"Hmmm... tell me more," he flashed a wicked smirk.

"Do you remember that night two months ago?"

_Tonks and Sirius had been playing a late night round of wizarding chess and Remus was sitting on the sofa reading the latest edition of the British Journal of Wizarding Arts. They'd all been drinking ample amounts of a fine single malt scotch Sirius had discovered earlier in his father's study._

_Feeling a bit cheeky, Nymphadora moved her queen and then, while waiting for her cousin to take make his next move, she jumped to the sofa and bounced right down in the middle of Remus's lap._

"_Nymphadora!" He scolded._

_Black laughed, as he enjoyed watching his colorful cousin tease his proper friend._

"_Hello Remus," she cooed._

"_Nymphadora, I'm trying to read," he remarked pleasantly._

"_Really? Am I in your way?" She asked impishly and wiggled her bottom in his lap._

"_You can be very distracting, you know," his voice a bit breathy. _

_Throwing an arm around his neck, she smiled, "Little me? Distracting? I just wanted to say hello."_

_Sirius barked laughter, "Cousin, stop giving my mate a hard on."_

_Nymphadora, feeling a bit wicked, leaned in closer. "Is that right? Am I giving you a hard on?"_

_Remus looked at her sternly and then, tilting her head back, his breath hot and rugged against her ear, "Nymphadora, if you had given me a hard-on, you wouldn't be in my lap, you'd be in my bed, crying out my name."_

_Tonks jumped up so quickly it was as if she'd been stung, "Remus Lupin!"_

_Silently, a flashed a wicked little grin._

"_Never tease a werewolf cousin," Sirius called from the chessboard, "It's likely they'll bite back."_

After Tonks recalled their conversation, Remus blushed, "I was drunk and provoked. What's you're point?"

"I just didn't know you thought about those kind of things."

"Things like what? Sex?" Was he that asexual? A few heads turned when he said the last word a little too loudly.

Tonks shyly answered, "Well, yeah. I mean, you're always so calm and proper and teacher-y."

"With adjectives like that, are you sure you want to date me?" He mused.

"And then I found your book-"

"And realized I still have a pulse and a libido."

"Remus!" Tonks rolled her eyes. "It's just that I'm glad, well, for the most part, that we've decided to, at least, try to take things slow. It's just that, I usually jump into things with both feet and it turns out horribly. But this is nice," she took his hand, her thumb intimately slipping beneath his cuff, and skimming over the tender skin of his inner wrist, "Slow is nice."

"I want to go whatever speed makes you comfortable." Remus replied and took her other hand in his, stroking her palm. "The truth of the matter is, I haven't _gone_ at any speed in quite some while."

That's where their conversation ended Thursday night, because in the next moment, Mundangus Fletcher approached the table and their conversation quickly turned to more ordinary matters. But as Tonks lay in her bed that night, only twenty paces from her potential lover, their earlier conversation played over and over through her head and with each replay, she became more and more aroused by his confession; by his whisperings. Even her dreams were tangled with fantasy and desire.

Awaking early the next morning, she tip- toed to his room, where she heard rustling within.

"Are you awake?" Tonks asked as see peeped in his door.

He stood in front of the mirror, wearing his best suit, in the middle of knotting his cravat.

_Yummmm..._ Need spread through over body like warm honey. _He looks so hot!_

"Oh, good morning," Remus turned, "I didn't mean to wake you." He said, buttoning his cufflinks.

"You didn't. I naturally wake up at this time, even when I have the day off." She walked in the room and let her hands run up the back of waistcoat. "Where are you going looking so handsome?"

He looked down at her, blue eyes happily taking in her pink-lace camisole and black satin shorts. "Unfortunately, I have a meeting at the Ministry concerning the _werewolf _situation in Dover. "

"Oh, then you have a few minutes for this before you go," Tonks wound her way around his body, and kissed him feverishly, his body responded immediately. Her tongue plunged deeply into his mouth and his maleness hardened against her hip.

His arms around her, "I think I have a few extra minutes for this." The smell of sleep and of woman desire clouded her body and flooded his senses.

They kissed more lasciviously than they had yet, and slowly, throughout their lip locking, Tonks began pushing Remus down into a chair in the corner of the room.

"Remus-"

"Hmmm.." He moaned as her lips nibbled his neck, the smell of his spicy aftershave exciting her.

"I want you to say my name," she whispered.

"What," he asked, when suddenly, she was kneeling before him, spreading his legs and kneading his desire through the think wool of his trousers. That's when he understood her intent; his pale eyes glazed with want and his body trembled with desire.

"You said yesterday that's it's been a while; so, I wanted to do this for you. I wanted to let you know how I really see you..."

Before he could offer any objections, her small hands hand unhooked and unzipped his trousers and her pink lips wrapped around his flesh.

"Dear gods," he cried out, hands bracing against the chair arms. It had been a very, very long time since a woman had touched him in this way; warm wetness in a rhythmic cresendo. After a few minutes of movement, he relaxed; hands drifting through her hair, massaging her naked shoulders. Finally, tilting his head back, a deep moan escaped his throat.

_I need this,_ he thought. _I need you. _

Her tongue and teeth were driving him over the edge. And as his body tensed in a penultimate thrust, hands knotted in her hair, somehow remembering her request, he cried out, "Nymphadora. Oh gods! Nymphadora!"


	4. Love, Sex and all that stuff inbetween

**Take Her in Your Arms**

_Chapter 4_

As soon as he called out her name, Tonks winced at what she had done. _He probably thinks I'm a complete slut_. Wiping her hand on the back of her mouth, she tried to suppress that fear, "Was that okay?"

When she looked up, she noticed Remus handing her a handkerchief, "I think that may have been the happiest event in my life." Then with a very silly grin, "We'll be lucky if it doesn't become my _patrionous_."

Tonks filled with unabashed laughter, "That would certainly shock the dementors!"

Reaching down to the woman sitting at his feet, he pulled her into his lap, drew her to his chest, his voice gentle, "Thank you, Nymphadora. That was definitely an unexpected, but wonderful surprise."

Tonks nuzzled her head against his chin, "Well, you brought it on yourself, Remus; looking so handsome in your good suit."

He tilted her head upward, "Never underestimate the power of tweed."

Nymphadora smiled and they shared a brief kiss, and Remus continued, "You said yesterday that before you found my sketch book that you didn't see me as," he paused, and drew a sharp breath, "as sexual."

"Remus-"

Putting a finger to her lips, he continued, "And I know that you think I'm perhaps, old fashioned when it comes to ideals about sex."

_Wow! Was Remus reading her mind?_

"But I'm not." His blue eyes, burned with intensity, "I'm not expecting you to fall in love with me just because we have sex and I'm certainly not expecting you to feel that morally, you need to love me, before we do."

Tonks nodded; although, she wasn't sure how she, herself, felt about what he was saying.

"What I'm trying to say is, I want you. I've wanted you for a very long time and not just like this, not just you touching me, teasing me," His voice was low, warm against her ear, "I want to touch you, too. I want," his voice rugged, "I want to pleasure you."

Tonks was a young woman who liked being in control; at the dueling field and in the bedroom. And she'd never had a man tell her, in so many words, that he intended to be her equal in the latter. Then again, she'd only dated boys; lads who were her age or maybe a couple of years older, who she was able to quickly dazzle with her sexual prowess; dating Remus Lupin was her first experience with a truly older man. Obviously, a man that knew what he wanted.

"Remus," Tonks blushed, her breath quickening, "Are you telling me that you don't want to take things slowly?"

"I think you crossed that line this morning."

"Touché, Professor Lupin," Tonks stood, taking in his relaxed masculine form. Wondering, with delicious anticipation, what she had gotten herself into.

Remus stood, a slight smile on his lips, and straightened his cravat. "You know, it's going to be awfully difficult to focus on my work today."

Smiling, her hair confidently tinting red, "I do have that effect on men."

Remus, who was now heading to the door, turned on his heel, voice teasing, "I wasn't referring to what went on this morning, I meant that I'll be thinking on what will take place tonight."

Tonks eyes widened.

"Good day Ms. Tonks," Lupin offered in his most pleasant voice, before heading down the stairs and out the door.

_Whoooaa!_

Tonks sat down on his bed, still in shock. In her mind, she tried to reply everything that had happened in the past thirty minutes and it was a lot. First off, there was 'the deed'. She giggled to herself thinking on how he was much bigger than she had anticipated. Then again, he was a tall and lanky man; of course, she should have expected that the rest of him was that way. None the less, it was a nice surprise.

Most guys would have just grunted when she finished them off, but Remus called out her name at his moment of pleasure and within moments after, handed her his tissue; passionate and thoughtful.

The only thing that troubled her, were his words afterwards. Not the fact that he said he wanted her or his allusions to his pleasuring her; but, the fact he told her that she didn't have to love him.

"Why would he tell me that?" She mused, unknowingly snuggling up to his empty pillow.

Then, eyeing his sketchbook, she pulled it out and flipped through the 'Hogwart's' section. For a second time, she was met with page after page of Lily Evans and with the idea that Remus had been in love with her.

Two blank pages and then the picture of Lily and James holding hands. Tonks retrieved her wand from the side table and tapped the empty pages. Nothing happened. She tried several unlocking spells, but the pages remained blank.

Laying down her wand, she flipped back and forth from the drawing of Lily in the daisy field to the drawing of Lily and James. "He doesn't think he's capable of being loved."

It was a very wretched realization, but one that Tonks felt in heart to be true.

Her eyes watered with sadness and empathy, thinking of the countless times she had felt unworthy of being loved. She was a metamorphangius, after all; who could ever love someone that was so freakish, so different.

Again, she thought on Remus's words, this time understanding their intent; self protection, unworthiness. He wanted her physically with or without her heart; not because he was callous or shallow, "But because he doesn't think he'll ever be worthy of a woman's love."

A single tear rolled from Tonk's cheek and dropped onto the blank page. Rippling, like a pebbled thrown into a pond, the blank parchment began to reveal its picture. It was another drawing of Lily, and she was crying. In a very neat script beneath were the words, "After I told her, I loved her."

Suddenly, she heard a pop and feet on the stairs. Almost immediately, the door swung open, "You really have me loosing my mind, I forgot my brief case." Remus was standing before her out of breath, with a smile that quickly faded as realized her face was tear stained. "Are you okay?"

He rushed to her side, seemingly unaware of the sketchbook. "What is it?"

"Were you in love with Lily?" Tonks questioned firmly. She didn't usually care abou her lovers' pasts, but this was different. She needed to know.

Remus visually pulled away, voice devoid of expression, "That was a very long time ago."

"But were in love with her?" Tonks asked again.

"Nymphadora, I'm running late as it is," he stood from the bed and picked up his briefcase.

"Remus." Tonks insisted.

He stopped, suddenly. "Yes, I was in love with Lily Evans." Then turning back to face Tonks, his eyes remorseful, "And I was still in love with her when she became Lily Potter." Then firmly, he added, "But I can assure you Nymphadora, that she never loved me. Not in any way other than friendship." And then in voice barely audible, he added, "No one has."

With his stark confession, he apparated from the room and Tonks, hugging his sketchbook to her chest, said to the emptiness, "That's not true Remus, I love you."


	5. I love who I love who I love

**Take Her in Your Arms**

_Chapter 5_

_I love who I love who I love_

Tonks went through the motions of readying Number 12 Grimmald Place for the night's meeting with a heavy heart. All she wanted to do was throw her arms around Remus and say _I love you_ a thousand times until he believed it, but somehow she didn't think her typical straight forward approach would work.

"Dear Merlin! You're not cooking again are you?" Spoke the panicked voice of Molly Weasley.

Tonks smiled for the first time since Remus left for the Ministry. "No Molly, I'm washing dishes the muggle way."

A look of disgust crossed her face. Molly shooed her away from the brown dishwater, immediately spelling the dishes to wash themselves. "When are you going to let me teach you some housework spells?"

Asked the plump red head, hands on her hips, then tsking, "Oh Tonks, hand me that grocery bag on the table, we've got a lot of work to do."

Tonks silently began unloading the bag and putting up the groceries. In less than a minute Molly spun around and abruptly asked, "Alright, Nymphadora Tonks, what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," Tonks replied biting her lip.

Molly cocked an eyebrow. "You hate to cook. Every time I ask you to unload the groceries, you disappear from the room."

Tonks was quiet.

Shaking her head, "Alright dear, enough of this." Molly took the carrots from her hands and placed them on the table. "You know you'll feel better if you talk about it, so come on; out with it.

Leaning against the cabinet, heart forlorn, "Molly, how do you know when you're in love?"

Molly smiled, "Let me put on a spot of tea, and I'll tell you all about it."

An hour later, Tonks had told Molly everything; about the fight over Sirius's death, the drawings in sketchbook, what Tonks had done to Remus this morning and about her assumptions regarding Remus's comments afterwards. "And he said that no one ever had loved him that way and then he apparated to his meeting."

"Where do I start?" Molly shook her head and took a sip of her tea. "First things, kudos about this morning, he needed it."

Tonks blushed and laughed slightly, which must have been the woman's intended effect.

"But I must say my dear; it was very harsh of you to blame Remus for Sirius's death."

"But Molly- "

"No," the older woman shushed her. "You've had your say, now it's time for you to hear mine. No one in this world loved Sirius more than Remus Lupin. Remus, the saint that he is, could never tell Sirius what to do; that man had a mind of his own and he followed it even to his own detriment. I'm not even sure that Dumbledore could have stopped Sirius if he had had the chance."

Somewhere inside, Tonks knew she was right.

"You were angry at Remus for not taking your side, you blamed him for allowing Sirius to go to his death, but he could no more have stopped Sirius than he could have stopped earth from spinning." Then cupping the younger woman's hand in her own, "As much as it hurts, I promise you that it hurts Remus ten times more. Sirius Black was the last of his friends. Remus has outlived them all and not because he is a coward like that rat, Peter Pettigrew, but because he is a brave and powerful wizard as well as a very lucky man."

Molly shook her head again, and charmed pot to pour them another cup, "Damnable luck, I bet he'd say if you'd ask him."

Tonks heart twisted like a wash rag. "Oh Molly," her head falling into her hands, "how could I have been so hard on him, so cruel!"

"Sometimes we're hardest on those we love." Molly rubbed Tonks' back with the calming hand of a mother. "Love and hate; it's thin line, but then again, you love him don't you?"

"I think I've been in love him for a long time. I just didn't realize it until this past week. Can that be possible?"

Molly smiled, "It happens that way sometimes. Love looking you in the face everyday without you knowing it; enjoying someone's company, needing someone's smile, finding comfort in another's presence, but not knowing why. Thank goodness you found that picture and gave yourself a good slap in the face. I'm not sure if a man like Remus would have ever told you how much he loves you."

"Do you really think he loves me?" Tonks asked, still lamenting on her bad behavior.

"Tonks, that man has been in love with you for years. The first time he laid eyes on you, he couldn't stop staring."

"Everyone stares the first time they met me." Tonks replied nonchalantly.

"Not Remus Lupin. You interested him, and I wouldn't say it was purely academic. Tonks, we've all noticed. Even Arthur, who can be thicker than an oak stump when it comes to love, has mentioned the way Lupin fauns on you."

"Really?"

"Lupin puts together the surveillance schedule, haven't you noticed that you're always together?"

"We're mates."

"You tease him relentlessly about his academic books, his shoddy clothes, even about his werewolf and he rolls over and takes it for you. He lets you needle him, because he likes your attention. My goodness, have you ever heard Charlie or Arthur or even the children, for that matter, say 'boo' to him on any of those subjects?"

"Now that you mention it, no; I haven't."

"Tonks, you're all the time finishing his sentences or burning his breakfast or spilling your dinner on his lap and has he ever said an unkind word to you about it?"

Tonks smiled slightly, "No, never."

"Now, what makes you think you're in love with him?"

Nymphadora's heart warmed as she recalled the sound of his voice, "The way he calls me by my first name when I insist he calls me Tonks."

Molly chuckled.

"I love the way he apologizes for making tea the muggle way and how insists that I eat chocolate when I'm feeling down." Then looking deeper, she closed her eyes and pictured him in her mind, "I love that his clothes are worn clothes, his hair is turning gray, his briefcase is held together with string and yet, he never is the most dignified person that I have ever met."

At this moment of Tonks monologue, Molly had to take out a handkerchief and blot her eyes.

"I love him because he's good to the children. He's patient, caring, and fair; that's what makes him a wonderful teacher and a brilliant friend. And also, I love him because he's just a little bad." Tonks grinned mischievously, "His witty little comments about Snape, the tricks he would play on Sirius, the trouble we get into at the pub," then laughing, "and devious, sexy little comments he's whispered in my ears."

"I love him, Molly, because he loves me. And when he looks at me I feel like the most beautiful woman on this earth and in those moments when we're together, I know that regardless of what happens with this war, as long as I'm with Remus, everything will be okay."

Passionately, Molly grabbed Tonks shoulders, her brown eyes pleading with her, "From what you've told me, you do love him. Nymphadora Tonks, don't you dare let him walk away from you tonight. Do you here me?"

Tonks nodded, rallying the warrior within.

Molly sighed and grasped her hands, "He's in love with you because you are beautiful, but you're also a fighter. You're smart and you're strong and you're passionate. You have faith in what's right, you have hope in tomorrow- things that Remus had almost forgotten after the first war. Ideals that you've help him rekindle."

Tears welled in the younger woman's eyes.

"Oh Tonks! When you smile, he smiles; and when you hurt, he hurts. We can all see it. This isn't about sex. That's not what he really wants from you, it's you- your heart. He's fallen in love with your heart and he'll never be satisfied with anything less."

"Do you really think so Molly?" She so wanted to believe.

"I know this. He loved Lily Evans relentlessly and in the end, it tore apart his friendship with James. And he never loved her a sliver, so much as he loves you, and I know this," she sighed, closing her eyes, and patting Tonks's hands, "I know this because in strictest confidence, only two months before, in this very same kitchen, he told me so."

"No!!! He told you that he loves me?"

"Yes," Molly stood abruptly, "And that's all I'm going to say on the subject." Charming the carrots to peel themselves, "Heaven knows, I've already said too much."

"But Molly, what do I do?"

"Tell him you love him," the older woman replied filling a caldron with water.

"But he doesn't think he's worthy of being loved."

Lightening a fire, she turned back to the young woman, "Then show him that he is."

It was nearly five o'clock when a weary Remus Lupin arrived back at Number 12 Grimmald Place.

"Finally, you're home!" Tonks said, tripping into the foyer.

Remus's tired face lit up with a smile when he saw her; violet hair and ripped jeans. "I'm home." Then pulling Tonks towards him, he wrapped his arms around her and she returned his affection with a swift kiss.

Still holding her, "I'm sorry that I was cross with you this morning."

"You had a right to be upset; me bringing up old loves after what had just happened between us."

Remus squeezed her tightly to his chest, "Am I forgiven, then?"

"Of course and I, too, have something I need to apologize for. Come here," then pulling him into a small parlor off of the front hall, they sat together on a delicate love seat, where Tonks took his hand in hers, voice unsteady, "I want to apologize to you for my behavior regarding Sirius death. I know you couldn't have stopped him from going to the Ministry. But I guess, I was angry and it was easier for me to blame you than to blame Sirius." She sighed, her shoulders slumping, "Anyway, it was wrong. I'm sorry we grew apart because of it."

Finally, her dark twinkling eyes, looked into his, "Can you forgive me?"

A few seconds of silence and eventually, "Yes, I can forgive you." He looked away for moment, as if lost in contemplation, and Tonks patiently waited for him to continue, stroking his long fingers.

"I loved Sirius like a brother." It was the first time Remus had ever spoken about her cousin's death. "He was the first friend I ever had at Hogwart's."

Tonks heart was breaking yet again and she longed to cry out _I love you!_ and make his heart ache better, but she was patiently waiting for the right moment. Right now, Remus needed to make his confession.

"And yet, the truth is, Nymphadora, I was always a bit jealous of him and James. They were from wealthy families, they had beautiful girlfriends, but most of all, they were carefree, normal boys; something I knew I could never be. And in spite of everything, I'm the last one left. I can't help thinking, why me?"

"Fate, luck," Tonks quietly answered, understanding human loss from her few short years as an auror. "Some might say your destiny hasn't been filled."

Remus now appeared very young, and Tonks felt very old, "And what is my destiny, what is there for an old werewolf?"

Tonks smiled, because she knew exactly what there was. "Remus, there's all the things you fight for everyday; a world safe from evil, a world were there's justice and equality for all, a world safe for children to dream and for old werewolves to hope." Pausing here, she smiled, and looked deep into his eyes, "And there's always love, everyone's destiny has love."

"Hmpff, Sirius's didn't." Lupin responded bitterly, shoulder slumping in deep sadness.

"That's not true! He had Harry!" Tonks replied, enthusiastically, "Sirius didn't care about a woman's love. He was always in- love with a dozen women and they with him."

Lupin chuckled at this comment, knowing Tonks was right.

"No, what really made Sirius happy was the day that he became reunited with Harry and claimed his right as his Godfather. That was his destiny. And it was James and Lily's to have a son who was blessed enough with their love that he might actually have a chance at defeating the darkest wizard in a thousand years."

Remus nodded knowingly, "Yes, their son, Lily's son."

"She wasn't your destiny."

Remus was quiet for a full minute and finally, "No, she was James'." Then he gave Tonks the sweetest lopsided grin that she'd ever seen. "You know, that's the first time I've ever admitted that aloud."

Tonks returned his smile, her grip on his hands steadfast. "First loves are hard to get over."

Chuckling softly, his voice pleasant, "And what about you Nymphadora. Have you ever been in love?"

"Just once."

Remus relaxed against the sofa, his eyes twinkling with a newfound curiosity. "Well, go ahead. Tell me what he was like."

"Actually, I'm still not over mine." Tonks grinned, knowing this was her chance. "We were together for two years, and although he always had his best mate around, something special developed just between the two of us. But, I guess you're more interested in hearing his attributes, right?"

Remus just sighed.

"He was extremely handsome, although, he didn't think he was. Tall, stately, withpale blue eyes; his clothes were neat and classic; although, some might have said they made him look older than his years."

Remus's brow knotted.

"But beyond looks, which I must say lead to countless fantasies, I loved him; I loved his heart. He was kind and patient, never a harsh word to me no matter what I did to him; and brave and strong, a leader amongst his peers. I really looked up to him for that; the way others respected him. He had this beautiful quiet dignity about him."

"Really?" Remus asked, face very still as if he was still connecting two and two.

"And the very odd thing about our relationship was that he thought I could never love him, that I could never see beyond this horrible secret that made him different from other men; a secret he thought made women unable to love him."

"Nymphadora-" Remus's breathing was rushed, but Tonks ignored him and continued.

"And here I was thinking the same thing about myself. Who could ever love a freaky, shape- shifting metamorphangius? Besides that, who could ever love a little, mousey- brown haired girl with freckles and a silly name Nymphadora? But he did. When he says my name, I felt like the most beautiful woman in the world."

Reaching forward, Remus stroked her hair, knowing now he, himself, was this man that Tonks was so tenderly describing. Her hands left his fingers, and gently stroked his face, "And that's why I _love_ him, because he is able to love me."

"I do love you, Nymphadora," Tears hung in Lupin's eyes, his voice trembled with emotion, "but you don't have to love me back."

"Remus Lupin; I love who I love who I love." Then looking so deep into his eyes that she swore she could see the glow of his soul, she said firmly, "I love you."

His firm resolve suddenly shattered as his heart accepted her love, and his body broke with sobs; hot tears that he had been holding back for a lifetime rushed forth. That night, Nymphadora Tonks held Remus Lupin in her arms for a long time, until the tears were cried, the self doubt was vanquished and the littlest, tiniest spark of hope was rekindled in an old werewolf's soul.


	6. Coming out and staying in

**Take Her in Your Arms**

_Chapter 6_

_Coming out and Staying In_

"Oh Nympha-dora," his fingers ran through her choppy violet hair, "My _beautiful gift_."

Tonks nuzzled against his chin, "You know your Greek."

Remus smiled, and kissed her forehead, "I know my love."

"Ahhh!" She laughed, twinkling dark eyes looked into pale blue, and then both pairs fluttering closed, leaned in for a kiss when the parlor door swung open.

"Oh, ummm..." Arthur Weasley, stumbled, "Sorry to interrupt, but we're ready to begin the meeting."

Remus quickly stiffened, "We'll be there in a moment, Arthur."

As soon as the door shut behind Weasley, Remus once again stroked Tonks' hair, "Can we still keep this between us for now. I'm not sure I'm ready to face the firing squad yet."

"Of course, but I really don't know what you're afraid of. The Order is going to have to except 'us' like it or not." Tonks replied fiercely.

Gripping her hand tightly, "I know a thing or two about being accepted, Nymphadora. It can't be forced." Pausing he shook his head and sighed, "How do you think the others will respond when they find out that a middle aged, out of work werewolf is dating a young, beautiful, Ministry auror?"

Tonks considered his point, but thought that he had it a bit turned around. "Remus, I am twenty five with a government job, not exactly a sporting girl anymore. Besides that, you may think me beautiful, but purple hair aside, I'm quite average and did I mention a complete klutz?"

"The klutz part I agree with," Remus replied.

"Some people _may_ think that you seduced me, but Remus," Tonks bit her lip, "You're a school teacher that wears tweed suits and drinks chamomile tea, I mean, you're really just not the seducing type."

Lupin rolled his eyes, "It's always the tweed!"

"What I'm trying to say is that people who are prejudice against because of your lycanthropy aren't going change and no, us dating probably won't help either. But our friends, the people who know us best; well, I think they'll be happy for us. Finding each other, finding love in perhaps one of the darkest moments of our lives."

Remus tilted his head, "Sometimes you amaze me. I think the sun must always be shinning in your heart."

Tonks beamed with pleasure, "I'm keep your little secret for now Lupin, because you're sooo sweet. But you know, if it's in your heart, it's bound to come out."

The meeting was filled with new information on the Azkaban situation, Deatheater sightings and reports, the search for Peter Pettigrew, the Giant circumstance in Southern France and a report on the werewolf problem in Dover.

Finally, after everyone had reported and the surveillance schedule had been ordered by Lupin and approved by Moody, the meeting was called to adjournment.

"Well, dear, did you tell him?" Molly questioned Tonks.

Tonks opened her mouth to reply, but someone else spoke first. "Tell me what?" Remus Lupin asked looking relaxed, hands casually in his pockets; smile a bit cheeky.

Tonks quickly turned to look at him, trying to read his facial expression, but as usual, Remus was wearing his regular, pleasant facade. "Molly wanted to know if I told you about..."

"About that big fall sale at Warrod's. I picked up some up Arthur some lovely summer jumpers there yesterday." Moll pushed in.

"Aghhh. Well, I'm quite stocked in the jumper category." Remus replied and Tonks inwardly knew he wasn't believing any of it.

"Sorry about barging in on you two," Arthur entered the conversation. "Molly hadn't given me the heads up to start knocking on the doors around here." He laughed at his joke, but Remus merely flushed, Tonks was at a loss for words and Molly beamed with happiness.

Arthur, realizing his mistake, winced, "Oh dear, that was a secret wasn't it?"

"What's a secret?" Asked Ron who was trailed by Ginny into the kitchen.

Arthur reddened, "Ummm..."

"Remus and I are dating." Tonks blurted out, and nearly every voice in the kitchen silenced. They hadn't meant to tell anyone, but better they knew than suspect she and Remus we're involved in some kind of risqué tryst.

Ron's face twisted in confusion, "Each other?"

"Yes," Remus answered calmly, although Tonks knew Remus wished to keep their relationship a secret and now that it was out, well, he might be furious or he might be relieved. Looking at him, she noticed his tighten jaw, but still, it was hard to tell how he felt.

"Congratulations!" Molly jubilantly answered, throwing her arms around Tonks in a crushing hug.

Moody swaggered over to the group; everyone was starring, "Dating? In the middle of a war?" Everyone knew his implication.

Remus, stood firm his ground and Tonks was in awe of his strength of will, "Nymphadora and I have decided to see each other outside of our Order duties."

Moody grimaced, "Lupin, you remember the last war. Think about what happened to the Longbottoms, and the Smithwicks; Sally Malestrom and Grover Parks." Everyone knew that the Deatheaters had used their loved ones in retaliation attempts and torture.

"That's not quiet fair Alistair, Molly and I were married with Charlie during the first war." Arthur interrupted.

"You were lucky," Moody growled.

A new voice slunk into the heated debate. A smirk twisted on the lips of Severus Snape, "Perhaps you both should think about retiring from the advanced guard. Surely, you can't think about you duties when you're playing handsy in the hallways."

Tonks hand tightened on the grip of her wand.

Remus looked severe with his hands locked behind his back, but his voice remained cool, "Thank you for your input Severus, Alistair, but Nymphadora and I are both dedicated to the Order and to its success above anything else. Our personal involvement doesn't change our commitment or our focus on our duties." 

Moody stepped very close to Remus and cocked his hat; his crazy eye piercing the younger man. "So basically Lupin, you're telling me to bugger off?"

With utter composer, Remus replied, "That's exactly what I'm telling you to do."

Moody crackled with laughter, and raised his flask in the air, "To hell with it then; Remus Lupin is in love!"

Some gasped, others laughed, Molly teared, and Remus and Tonks both flushed scarlet.

"Arthur, open a bottle of the single malt, I think we have something to toast to. Our werewolf is in love!" As everyone fell into a festive mood, Moody grabbed Lupin's arm, a fatherly moment overwhelming him. "You know Lupin, Tonks is a feisty lass and a good _girl_."

Remus was very aware of the emphasis that Moody put on the word _girl_.

"Take care of her, Remus."

Remus Lupin knew full well that Tonks could take care of herself and she was certainly more woman than girl, but still, something in him, perhaps chivalry or just the male protective gene made him replied, "Yes, sir, I will."

Finally, after the guests were gone and the Weasleys tucked safe away in bed, Tonks and Lupin took to the stairs, ascending to the bedrooms.

"That was certainly an unexpected evening." Remus mused.

"When have I ever done anything expectedly, Remus?" Tonks flipped a quick smile in his direction.

"Ahhh, very true; you do keep life interesting. Thank Merlin." He laughed, apparently not upset that Tonks had let their secret slip to the entire Order.

Upon arriving on the top stair and after slowly ambling down the hallway together, they paused between the bedroom doors.

"Well," Remus stopped, turning to face the petite, dark eyed woman standing before him, arms encircling her waist. "I suppose this is where we say goodnight."

Tonks casually put her finger to her chin. "I though that you had something to give me?"

Remus looked- up surprised. "I do, but do you still want it tonight?"

"Well, if it's past your bedtime-" Tonks trailed off, when suddenly Lupin jerked her back to his side, his hands tightly ensnaring her wrists.

"Night is a wolf's most active time of day, my dear." His pale eyes burned with teasing desire.

Nymphadora Tonks, feeling cheeky, feeling loved and feeling sexy as hell, moved a step closer until her body melded against his. Instant desire was aroused on both sides, as soft moved hard and she answered, "Prove it."

In true Lupin style, Remus didn't flinch. His thin lips smirked, and then merely raising an eyebrow he asked, "My bedroom or yours?"

_**Author's Note:**_

_No, this isn't the end! I've just been busy. Thanks for all of your reviews; they're very inspiring!! Hopefully, the next will leave you saying, "Yum!" Don't hold your breath..._


	7. It's gettin' hot in here, so

**Take Her in Your Arms**

_warning: This chapter contains sexual acts between two consenting adults- that's why this fic is rated R. If you're not 17, you shouldn't be reading this at all. If you are 17 or older and want to read a little smuttiness, please continue. If you are 17 and older and don't want to read a little smuttiness, click to the next chapter now or the big red X at the top right hand corner of your screen._

_Chapter 7_

_It's gettin' hot in here, so..._

"Yours," Tonks answered lowly and Remus scooped her up, kicked his bedroom door open, then closed as the couple, already enraptured in deep kisses, tumbled into the giant velvet trimmed bed.

Throwing her onto the mattress, Tonks burst out in colorful laughter at his energy, as Lupin lit a candle, shrugged off his shoes and bounced down beside her on the bed, instantly raining kisses down her cheeks and neck. "I don't think I've ever seen you this enthused about something; except maybe when you're battling Malfoy!"

Lupin, pausing momentarily, "I'd much rather do this than battling deatheaters." Then kissing her throat, long and hard until Tonks began to pant, he continued, "And I don't believe I've ever lack energy where a woman is concerned, just focus."

Running her hands through his salty hair as he slowly began unbuttoning her cardigan, "And now you've discovered focus?"

"Although, it's been clear for sometime; destroy or conquer."

Tonks pulled his chin upward, so his pale eyes were looking into hers, "What?"

He donned a silly smile, "Ooops, that's the deatheater strategy. I have quite a different game when it comes to you." Pulling the thin, pink angora sweater apart, he revealed a black lace bra and two plump little breasts, which he kissed tenderly, whispering lowly, "Yes, it's slow and steady that wins Nymphadora."

She laughed again.

Then gazing into her eyes, as he pushed down the black lace, fingers grazing her sensitive skin, "Of course I do have some tactical approaches, but I'd much rather show you, then tell you about then."

Then lips replacing fingers, she squeaked out, "Ahhh! Agreed."

As her desire grew, her abdomen heating at his continued toying, she pulled as his shirt. "Take this off." She huskily commanded.

His voice rasping, protesting, "I want tonight to be about you."

"Please," she begged, "I need to feel you, Remus. I need to touch you." Her request was beyond desire.

Sitting up he unbuttoned his oxford shirt, and immediately, Tonks flung herself against him, licking and biting at his chest.

"Wait," he caught her arms and held her still; confusion in her eyes. "My body isn't..." How could he say it, "isn't young. The wolf..."

His pain was apparent and Tonks stopped his words by placing a finger to his lips. "Shhhh, my love." Then kissing him very slowly, both hands on his face, she reiterated her earlier testimony, "I love you, Remus; regardless of the scars in your heart or on your flesh."

Lupin's chest heaved up and down with nervousness and Tonks pushed off his shirt, and looked upon his naked chest. Usually when he made love to a woman, he was careful to blow out the candles before he undressed or he would find some excuse to leave his shirt on altogether. This was different; this was like the first time. He closed his eyes, so he wouldn't have to see her expression of disgust.

Then suddenly, he felt something remarkable; her small hands against his skin, running through his chest hair and skimming over his shoulders to the bite. Fingers ran against the ridged folds of flesh that healed in scarred lines of red whelps. The wolf's teeth had torn his shoulder muscles, tendons and bones into shreds and even the best healers were never able to mend what the beast had done. The result was deep crevasses of frayed, ragged scars which resulted in the visual disfiguration of his left shoulder.

Suddenly, smooth, warm lips moved against his clavicle, then skimming over, he felt movement against the bite, he flinched in surprise and fear.

"Oh sorry! Does it still hurt?" Tonks asked as her fingers traced around the edges.

"No, it's just, I'm not use to anyone touching me there."

She smiled sweetly, "Well, I plan on touching you everywhere, so you better get use to it." Then, for the first time, he watched her as her fingers roved across the flayed flesh. Looking up, as if she noticed his gazed on her, she casually added, "It's just a scar."

"Yes," he said, taking her hand. "But most women find it... repulsive." He confessed, breathing still heavy.

Her dark eyes sincere, burning into his soul like an engraver's needle, "I find nothing about you repulsive."

He knew no other way to express his emotion at that moment than pulling her strongly to his chest and kissing her.

Then pushing back, she muttered, "Wait", and in an instant, her bra dropped to the bed sheets.

His long fingers drifted to her thin waist, "You are so beautiful."

Pulling herself against him, flesh against flesh, they kissed and touched; hands mutually splaying over naked skin. "My gods! You're incredible," she whispered into his ear, as he once again dipped his head and offered her breasts homage.

Then laying her down into the sheets, he sat upward and began to unsnap her jeans, "These really must go."

"Okay," she replied, dazed by lust as he tugged the denim off of her smooth legs, and tossed in into the floor.

Then slowly, his thin lips kissed across her belly, hands messaging against every part of naked flesh. Eventually, his kisses reached the low dip of her black satin knickers. Long fingers delve beneath the fabric, caressing the moist womanly flesh beneath. Moving his body beside hers, he licked and kissed her throat as his fingers continued to explore her sex; finally, pushing into her with a swift motion.

Tonks cried out, hips bucking against his fingers.

"You're so tight," he whispered, panting against her ear, the hardness of his erection pushing against the side of her hip with lascivious need.

Tonks dug her nails into Lupin's shoulders, "I'm so close, please Remus," her dark eyes twinkled through a desirous haze.

Moving his fingers out of her, he began encircling her most tender spot.

"Oh no!" She caught his arm, hips pulling away from him, she smiled at Lupin's confusion. "I want you to make love to me."

"I wanted tonight to please you. Are you sure that's what you want? I can finish now."

Tonks pulled up and kissed him, "What pleases me is _you_. I want you."

And there was no denying it, "Sweet Merlin, I want you too."

Then pushing against his chest, Lupin found himself lying back down with a ferociously hot Nymphadora Tonks making quick work of his belt and trousers. Then, slipping off his pathetically boring boxers.

_Note to self, buy Remus cute animal print shorts. Grrrr, baby!_

Tonks began a repeat performance of her morning act.

Remus, already heated from their foreplay and now nearly over the edge from naughty cuddlings, grabbed his lover's shoulders, "Nymphadora, you must stop!" He cried out, hands then knotting in the bed sheets.

Licking her lips and smiling mischievously, she pulled off her satin shorts and straddled Lupin, feeling wicked, her natural black hair unmorphed and spilled over her shoulders as she pushed down against his hardened flesh; taking him in, inch by inch.

"Oh god!" Remus cried out again, as Tonks rode atop him, his hands tightly against her rounded hips. It was something he had never experienced. Perhaps he was old fashioned; no, that wasn't true, because he _really, really_ liked it this was. The bottom line was difficult for him to admit; he was untried and admittedly inexperienced with sex.

"Is this okay," Tonks asked, her body curling down against his, still moving in a rhythmic tempo.

"Yes, very nice", was all he could force himself to say at the moment, they could talk about it later as far as his libido was concerned.

Tonks laughed, thinking to herself _I'm fucking his brains out and all he can say is 'very nice'. Gods! That's so Remus!_

After more panting, more movement, Nymphadora's thighs tightened, pushing down tight against him, she cried out, her body quaking as pleasure erupted within. A grin wider than a Cheshire cat spread across her face, "That was very nice Mr. Lupin."

It took Remus a moment to figure out his next move, "Well Ms. Tonks, we're certainly not finished here." He said, then toppling her back into mattress, he spread her legs, and plunged back into his lover. Her body fully accepting him as he thrust deeply into her again and again; both experience tantric pleasures until Remus's body reached organism; his muscles twitching as he softy called her name.

After Lupin had a moment to recover, Tonks remarked, "You know, you're a moaner."

Remus chucked, pulling away from her, "And you're very naughty; jumping on me like that."

Perching on her elbows, "I was in the moment. So do you like it on top or bottom best? I think most men like it on top."

Running his fingers through his hair, still trying to catch his breath, "I think I'll need a few more test runs before I can come to a final conclusion."

"Now you're sounding like a professor even in bed." Tonks tilted her head curiously, "Are you saying that you've never done it with the girl on top."

"Ummm...No."

_Okay, he's still a little shy when it comes to talking about his sex life. This is very cute. Need to know more. _

"Really?"

"Yes."

"How many woman have you been with, Remus?" Tonks asked, feeling a little twinge of jealousy.

**_Author's note: _**_The conclusion of this story is in the next chapter which is almost done, will be posted soon. Sorry for the abrupt change, but just in case you don't want to read about sex (why not, I can't imagine), you can still read the conclusion of this story. Again, thanks for the reviews!_


	8. And tell her that you love her

**Take Her in Your Arms**

_Chapter 8_

_And tell her that you love her_

"Do you really need to know that, Nymphadora?" He rolled over on his side, facing her, both now somewhat covered beneath the bed sheets.

"As your current lover, I think I have the right to know."

Sighing, "I can assure you that I've been with enough women to guarantee my manhood, but not so many that I would ever be referred to as a 'lady's man'." Then tucking the sheet around her, "I've had girlfriends in the past, but none so adventurous or so lovely."

Okay, she could live with that. "Ever a one night stand?" She asked, her dark eyes sparked curiously.

He didn't look up at her, "Just once."

"Wow! Really?" Her face lit up. "I'm really surprised! Was she a friend?" _Was it Lily?_

"Of sorts."

_Did you love her?_ "Did you draw her picture in your book?"

His eye flicked up, "No, and if you're referring to Lily; I never slept with Lily." His voice was loud and firm.

Obviously, Tonks had hit a sore point, but why? "I wasn't implying that it was Lily. Is it somebody I know?" Then pulling back away from him, "Don't tell me it was Emmeline Vance, I swear! Is she the town bicycle or what?!"

Remus laughed, tension releasing, "It wasn't Emmeline, although I guess there's a bit of history there?"

Tonks plopped back against the pillows, "She slept with the guy I was dating during auror training, it was rather a soap opera."

Lupin laid back against the pillows, pulling Tonks to his chest and she, in turn, naturally curled up against him. He sighed as she did so, and Tonks knew she was going to get the entire story. "After Sirius escaped Azkaban, well, it was also at the same time I had started teaching at Hogwart's, in a way, I regretted ever taking that job, but then again, who can say no to Albus and in truth, I needed the money. But, it brought back so many painful memories...I was very lonely and not feeling very good about myself and then--"

Tonks wrapped her arms tightly around Remus.

"I'm not the kind of man to—well, to sleep with a woman who I'm not involved with emotionally."

Tonks shielded her widening eyes from Remus's view. _Whoa! This was seriously personal for Remus._

"But I did; on three occasions with... Rosmerta."

"Ah! Madame Rosmerta. Well, we'll certainly not be visiting The Three Broomsticks again anytime soon. But I'm not too jealous, I mean, Madame Rosmerta is very sexy, if not very _old_." She did feel a little twinge of jealousy, but then again, she didn't have a very clean record when it came to men.

Lupin raised an eyebrow. "I suppose she is old compared to you, but it's not everyday that I have young aurors throwing themselves at me."

Tonks flipped her violet hair, "Praise Merlin!"

"So what about you? Anyone notable on that long list besides me?"

"No one worth remembering at this hour," Tonks replied and planted a kiss against his chest. No, it wasn't worth remembering ever after him; after making love with Remus Lupin.

Lupin was silent for a moment and then planted a serious questioned, "Anyone else in The Order?"

"Just one, but I think you know about him."

Remus looked at her blankly.

She might as well be completely honest, although she didn't care a fig about him other than a casual acquaintance. "Charile Weasley. I told you we use to date in school, but he cheated on me with this Scandinavian Veela. I was quite upset at the time, but you always are about first loves." Knowing he could relate to her young heartbreak. Then biting her lip, "And well, there was also Severus."

"You slept with Severus!" Remus yelled, nearly rolling off the bed.

"Shhhh!! No, oh no! I'm just teasing you!!" Tonks laughed, then whispering, "But if you shout that any louder, the entire house will be whispering it tomorrow."

Lupin's heart pounded, as he once again relaxed, "That was a cruel joke."

"Come on! It's not that Severus is _that_ bad looking, I suppose," Tonks began, "It's just that he's so nasty and spiteful—and the whole deatheater thing, ick! I'd be surprised if he's every snogged a woman."

"Believe it or not, he has." Remus answered with a tired voice.

"How do you know?" Dark eyes glowing in the candle light.

Lupin looked at her, then reaching to side table, pulled out his sketchbook, "Because I saw them," then opening to the second blank page, he touched I, revealing an image of a dark haired young man, and a beautiful young-

"Lily!"

"It was during our 6th year, soon after her and James had started dating--"

"_Remus you can't tell James._"

"_James is my friend...How could you?"_

"_Please, it was mistake. I just wanted to make sure."_

"_Make sure of what?! You know his alliances."_

"_That I'd made the right choice."_

_Remus turned his back; heart throbbing, conscious knotted. A long silence ensued. _

"_Remus, you told me last semester that you loved me. If you really love me, then you'll keep my secret. If James ever finds out-- I'll say it was you I kissed, not him."_

_Turning back, a painful reply, "Why Lily?"_

"_Because he could forgive you, and he could forgive me kissing you."_

_Without warning, she kissed him and although he knew he should be pushing her away, he couldn't; because, in truth, he still loved her._

_She broke the kiss, "There, now we're both guilty."_

_He looked away ashamed, thinking, "Yes, I suppose we are."_

Remember what Molly had said yesterday, it was as if two pieces of the puzzle came together and she instantly understood. "And James found out didn't he? He found out that you and Lily had kissed and that's why he and Sirius didn't trust you as secret keeper."

Remus shut the drawing book, "Something along those lines."

"But Remus! You couldn't help loving Lily. It's like us; we can't help loving each other in spite of the fact that it's probably madness."

Dropping the book in the floor, he wrapped his arms around her, "I know." Then chuckling, "At lease, I know now. I always blamed myself for loving her, until...until I met you."

Tonks looked up at him, "I don't understand."

"Because from the moment I met you two years ago, I knew I wanted you and I thought that wanting was wrong. I knew it was bound to fail for so many different reasons and yet, I couldn't help myself from watching you, drawing you, from loving you."

"We can't help who we love." Tonks replied softly, stroking his hair.

"I love you, Nymphadora Tonks," he wrapped his arms tightly around her, not afraid, not anxious; finally at peace with his past and when his present. "I love you."

Finding a home in his arms and joy in his love, she put all jealousy aside, and responded with certainty and sincerity, "I love you too, Remus."

_Epilogue_

It was these three words that they would exchange in public during their wedding vows, in private, whispered as lovers across pillows; through two wars and three children; in the Lupin household and at the gravesite of friend and cousin, Sirius Black. Even after thirty years of marriage, as his health was failing, he held her hand and said, "Nymphadora, I love you. I'll always love you."

As their two successful sons and beautiful grown daughter surrounded her husband's bedside, lending their strength to their mother and their love and final respects to the father, tears stained Nymphadora's checks as she felt his soul, which had been so entwined with hers, leave his body and ascend into the stars, "I love you too, Remus. Always..."

_Take her in your arms and tell her that you love her,_

_Take her in your arms and hold that woman right._

_Take her in your arms and tell her that you love her,_

_If you're going to love a woman, be sure and do it right._

_--Andy M. Stewart_


End file.
